January 23 2013 Negative

1/23/2013

Today, we found out that our very first ivf cycle failed.

Another negative pregnancy test to deal with and my first ever blood test to slap me with negative result as well.

I never thought this would happen in my life.

I am still bottled up as I am here at work trying not to cry but despite the effort, I couldnt help myself and  ended up crying here in my desk.

One of my coworker asked me and I told him what happened and he hugged me and told me that he’s kinda been here (his son died last year) He told me to have faith in God and he has plans for us.

I agree.

I talked to God, I told him if he doesnt want us to have our own child now can he atleast let me know the reason why. even just an Idea, so I could cope.

I hope I could stand the pain. It’s unbearable. almost all of our savings are now gone.

I am emotionally drained.