Motherhood

Motherhood has changed me - Not just in small simple ways but also in the most profound ways I never thought could and would take place. It has changed me to be the best version of myself because it has been a dream for so long it suddenly made me the happiest person I could ever be.

Ever since becoming a Mom, it made me discover sides of me I never knew existed. I suddenly discovered a more sentimental (bec I was already sentimental to begin with), compassionate, health conscious (bec, I suddenly feared to die so soon for my children) forgiving, playful version side of myself - But most especially, I've met a new side of me who is way stronger than who I really thought I was.

I remember, before I gave birth to my eldest son via normal delivery, I had so much fear that I may not make it without such complications bec of my very low pain tolerance but because the Lord, our Lord - is so gracious I still was able to deliver my youngest son 14 months after.

You see, Being a mom of two boys is not the easiest thing to do in the world considering that they are only 14 mos apart. They are honestly the wildest most active little creatures I've ever encountered in my life on a daily- but kidding aside, I have to admit that majority of my days as a stay at home mom are hard - multitasking every minute and always making sure both of their needs are met.

There are also those super hard times where I whisper to the Lord "time out po muna, kahit 10 mins of quiet lang." only to hear my youngest son crying for milk or my eldest throwing my laptop in the air because he thinks its fun. yeah right.
Yet, i always say to myself that despite all of these, I know for a fact that I wouldn't ever trade this life for the world.

Every day I push myself to my limits only to discover that in the end, A mothers love is truthfully and amazingly limitless.

Because the truth is, There are no timeouts even if it means not sleeping straight or waking up every 30 mins or so just to attend to my baby's needs. I could not stop them from asking for me and all that I have to do is cater them and love them with all my heart.

As you sleep

10. 17. 18

Knox

Tonight as I carry you in my chest and look into your sleeping face, I felt your weight and clearly notice how big you've gotten and then out of nowhere, I cried.

I suddenly remember the day I first held you in my arms. You were so tiny I can't even feel your weight bec you barely weigh so much to hurt my arm.

Now, everything is flashing back in my mind and making me cry one more time. I ask myself "until when do I get to do this?" "Until when will you not sleep without me even if you're so already tired and sleepy?" "until when will you want to hug me to sleep?" "until when will you make me your world? and mostly, "Until when will you love and need me as much as you do now?"

I cry again because I know that the days are numbered. soon enough, You will grow up.. and obviously, I can't pause the time so I am just cherishing every moment with you this small. One day, you will grow up and slowly by slowly, you will be needing me less and less every day. I know that when that time comes, my heart will ache for missing the days where I could hold you all night and confidently know that I am everything you need in this life - but I also know that my heart would also cheer for you and be proud of the person I raised you to be - 

My love, You are my favorite part of my life - YOU AND YOUR BROTHER, NOAH- 

Thank you for making me your mother and thank you for being my son. 

I love you with all that I have and more.

Cherish

Cherish that 2 lines that say "Positive"

Because one day it will fade and disappear along with time

Cherish that one final push

Because despite how painful it seems,

that is the start of his life

and more importnantly, 

a start of your new life too

Cherish that precious newborn cry

Because one day he will cry 

and it will sound different already

Cherish his tiny little hands and feet

it's growing bigger everyday

Cherish the moments that you can still easily carry him and wrap in your arms

Because he will soon outgrow your arms in the coming months and years

Cherish the small transitions that come along his monthly milestone

Because one day, you will wonder why and how did he grow up so fast

Cherish the good days

the beautiful and easy days

because it is the highlight of your time together

and it will never be relived someday

But most of all,

Cherish the bad days, the hard ones and the days you swore you felt like giving up

Remember it all

Because those are the days that testify your love as a mother

-pure, giving and limitless-