As you sleep

10. 17. 18

Knox

Tonight as I carry you in my chest and look into your sleeping face, I felt your weight and clearly notice how big you've gotten and then out of nowhere, I cried.

I suddenly remember the day I first held you in my arms. You were so tiny I can't even feel your weight bec you barely weigh so much to hurt my arm.

Now, everything is flashing back in my mind and making me cry one more time. I ask myself "until when do I get to do this?" "Until when will you not sleep without me even if you're so already tired and sleepy?" "until when will you want to hug me to sleep?" "until when will you make me your world? and mostly, "Until when will you love and need me as much as you do now?"

I cry again because I know that the days are numbered. soon enough, You will grow up.. and obviously, I can't pause the time so I am just cherishing every moment with you this small. One day, you will grow up and slowly by slowly, you will be needing me less and less every day. I know that when that time comes, my heart will ache for missing the days where I could hold you all night and confidently know that I am everything you need in this life - but I also know that my heart would also cheer for you and be proud of the person I raised you to be - 

My love, You are my favorite part of my life - YOU AND YOUR BROTHER, NOAH- 

Thank you for making me your mother and thank you for being my son. 

I love you with all that I have and more.