Today is cycle day 8 and also have to introduce another drug to my body which is called Cetrotide acetate along with the Gonal f that my body is already familiar with.
Yes, it is a little overwhelming dealing with pain and effects of drugs but I know we are already in the middle of our game - yesterday we came in to see my doctor for follicle scanning and he found 4 eggs on each of my ovaries - Although, that sounds a like a low number for an ivf cycle because my doctor only prescribed low dosage of gonal f for six days (only 150iu) he said we are still doing good and right on track. I admit me and peng were somewhat frustrated with the number so we blurted our concerns to our doctor about how we expected to have above 10 follicles but didn't. low number means low chances for us despite how great my eggs are - and because we were told that conceiving naturally is somewhat impossible for us so we wanted to have more in the freezer for future use so I dont have to go through the cons of medications anymore (including emotional, financial and physical stress) that it brings.
And luckily, after our doctor stressed out the importance of knowing the pros and cons of having large amount of embryos in the freezer and having a large family and what it brings we still decided that we wanted a big one anyway so he gave us a go signal to up the dose from 150iu - 300iu of gonal f for another 6 days in the hope of adding more follicles for better chances. :)
and now, all we have to do is wait. next week I will have another follicle monitoring and my estimate schedule of egg retrieval and I'm so game and excited with it.
This is getting a lot more faster than what I've expected but I really hope God would grant us the family that we yearn to have :)
Crossing my fingers till my next update :)
copied from pasted this article from www.thetwoweekwait,com
it in fact teared me up and made me smile a little because the truth is, these words are mending a broken heart of an infertile couple because of its witt and honesty.
here goes :
What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive…
That unprotected sex doesn’t necessarily lead to pregnancy.
That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH(dearest husband) at O(ovulation) time.
That the longer you TTC(trying to conceive), the more PG(pregnant) women spring up around you.
That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
That one day you wouldn’t mind checking your CM(cervical mucus) or to see if it is your fertile period.
That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors & people I meet
That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines……until only one shows up every month
That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)
That you have no control over some of the goals you set…
That wishing really hard for something doesn’t make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn’t make it change!
That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).
That a pregnancy doesn’t always equal a baby.
That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.
That my friends’ pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
That we wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
That I would EVER be willing to stick a little blue pill up my hoo-haa every night (estrace pill…done vaginally),
That I’d EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or ass every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.
That it wouldn’t happen the first time you didn’t use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
That you wouldn’t know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!
That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
That we could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.
That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.
That other people’s “good news” of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money or have won a lottery.
That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.
That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.
That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who’s bathroom you are in.
That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
That I wouldn’t want to hold or see someone’s baby because it just hurts way too much.
That a group of “strangers” who I will probably never meet, have now become my “best friends” when it comes to ttc.
That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.
That infertility is more common than you think.
That DH would get used to doing his ‘thing’ in a jar.
That one day all of this will make us stronger.
That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).
That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.
That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.
That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people’s pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.
That my faith in God would be tested heavily.
That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.
That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.
That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pregnancies, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pregnancies.
That I’d be glad to know that I have PCOS or Endometriosis - because at least I know what’s wrong.
That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can’t do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)
That foreplay would consist of DH asking “How’s your cervix today”
That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
That one person could be “cursed” with so many different fertility problems.
That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.
That some people just say the wrong things.
That a simple blood test costs $648!
That sex would ever become a chore!
That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me “I know how you feel…”
That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!
That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have
That I would become addicted to POAS (pee on a stick) and not sleep at night because I couldn’t wait to POAS in the morning!
That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
That I would learn to speak in code
Like I checked Cm (cervical mucus) which was EWCM (egg white cervical mucus) but when I will POAS (pee on a stick) who knows, dh (dear husband) won’t let me for fear of BFN (big fat negative)
Like I checked Cm (cervical mucus) which was EWCM (egg white cervical mucus) but when I will POAS (pee on a stick) who knows, dh (dear husband) won’t let me for fear of BFN (big fat negative)
That when AF (aunt flo) showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.
That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.
That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
That you HAVE to have sex even though you don’t feel like it, but because youre ovulating.
That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.
That I would meet such wonderful group of people online that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.
That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future
That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn’t time yet.
That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.
That I would hear well-meaning questions like: “Have you thought of taking your temperature?” (and this is after 20 months TTC…)
That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: “You have no idea what it’s like!”
That the two little words of “just relax” uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.
That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant
That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.
That I would have to help DH do it in a cup.
That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.
That I wouldn’t be able to attend my friend’s babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, “So, when are ya’ll going to have children.”
That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. “It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn’t understand.” or “Be happy you’re not tied down.”
That I would watch a Baby Story every day… only to cry every day.
That it puts this much strain on a marriage.
That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can’t seem to lose the witch!
It’s good to know I am not alone.
That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.
That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy
That your body has its own mind.
That you would cry your eyeballs out b/c AF showed.
That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.
That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.
That all of a sudden nursing other people’s babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling
That you feel useless as a female
That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur and end up disappointed
That answering questions about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.
