Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Sunday, June 28, 2015
My 28th bday
June 28 2015
It's my birthday today. I'm 28 already. I never thought this could be the greatest bday so far as the 1 thing I've been wishing is already granted by God:)
I'm having a baby! Thank you father God for this amazing miracle.
I'm currently 10 weeks and 4 days now! We had an ultrasound last week and we saw our little Muffin moving and waving at us already! We also heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was surreal! Heart rate of 171 bpm.
What a precious gift :)
I also received a very special and useful gift today from my husband :)
It's my birthday today. I'm 28 already. I never thought this could be the greatest bday so far as the 1 thing I've been wishing is already granted by God:)
I'm having a baby! Thank you father God for this amazing miracle.
I'm currently 10 weeks and 4 days now! We had an ultrasound last week and we saw our little Muffin moving and waving at us already! We also heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was surreal! Heart rate of 171 bpm.
What a precious gift :)
I will be forever thankful to my Lord and savior for giving me the opportunity to "finally" be a mother.
I will rejoice and praise your holy name oh Lord! Thank you to the moon and back :)
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
hairy belly and stretch mark prevention
I'm 9 weeks 2 days today and for some reason I've been seeing my belly being so hairy since around 6 weeks.. looks funny :)
Also started to apply stretch mark cream since 6 weeks in full hopes of not getting any :)
Also started to apply stretch mark cream since 6 weeks in full hopes of not getting any :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
6 & 8 Week Ultrasound/ Pregnancy Update :)
With a heart rate of 124 bpm :)
With a heart rate of 173 bpm :)
Symptoms:
*Morning sickness kicked in somewhere at 5 weeks and up to now it is what I call "All day" sickness. Although there are days that I feel surprisingly well (that makes me worry if I'm still pregnant or not. :/ )
*Sensitive to smell. Specially whenever someone is cooking or sauteing garlic & onions (makes me want to gag).
*Super heavy and tender breasts
*Peeing Often than usual specially at night
*Appetite depends on a day to day basis.. I dont crave certain food it just depends on my mood everyday
*Lack of energy (Not wanting to glam up and put some makeup everytime we go out. oh no! )
Starting Weight at 4 weeks pregnant : 92.4 lbs
My Greatest Testimony: I'm Finally Pregnant
Matthew 17:20
20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. "
I was 23 when I married the man God provided specially for me - Peng. I thought our future would just be like the norm; Get married, Have Kids and Build a family.
Ever since I was young I knew in my mind that what I wanted to be when I grow up is to be a Mom... I have strong likeness of taking care of children and babies.. I knew in my heart that time "in the future" would come.. I was not like most of the other little girls who dreamed of their wedding day in their most beautiful cinderella gown... instead, I dreamed of building a family of my own.. to love my children and take care of my family until I grow old..
If you were to grade my dream I bet you would say that it is one of the easiest dreams to attain since it is really the nature of the world...nature of a woman- to bear and give birth to a child or children of their own..
But in my case.. It was the other way around.
We've been trying to conceive for 4 years.. Of course at first, we tried on our own or what you would call "the natural way" but after months of still getting my period I had a hunch something is wrong so we both did a test; HSG for me to test if my tubes are open and luckily got a good result because they found out that both my tubes are open and on the other hand, Sperm Analysis for my husband that resulted in low count for him.. after that, We knew that the problem was his sperm so doctor prescribed vitamins to increase the count...
After changing our lifestyle and after a few months of still getting negatives.. my husband did another analysis which came back with better and normal results.. so we questioned ourselves what could be wrong this time?
after months and months of heartache and frustrations and after talking to several doctors they diagnosed us with "unexplained infertility" it states that you cant and wont get pregnant naturally without any reasons in a minimum span of a year..
After knowing that we had unexplained infertility, we still tried to underwent 1 treatment of IUI (intra uterine Insemination) and 1 Mini IVF (in Vitro Fertilization) in the states that resulted with depressing NEGATIVE results.
And we questioned ourselves "why"? I questioned God "why me"?
We lived under that painful title of infertility for as long as I could remember.. It was hard not knowing what the culprit is.. so after our first negative attempt with in vitro I got so depressed and decided to leave my work in the states and stay in the philippines for further treatments since it is much cheaper - and besides, infertility insurance is not covered by our insurance in the companies were working with.
It was the toughest, hardest, most brutal and darkest moments of my life...
We came back to our hometown (the philippines) and did multiple tests... I did Laparoscopy surgery to thoroughly check my uterus and what could be causing the problem... In the end, doctor found out I have endometriosis and that my fimbrias or the ones in the ends of my fallopian tubes are narrowed and distorted - hence it could not catch an egg everytime I ovulate.. so that pretty much summed up why I cant get pregnant naturally.
The doctor told me that despite the situation of my fimbrias, he tried to dilate and make it normal for me during the procedure and that we should first try to do another IUI first before proceeding to another round of IVF to save money if it works (and so we did).. we agreed and did what the doctor suggested even though doctor is not as optimistic as we hoped he is... and of course the result of that? is a negative again...
Several doctors told us its impossible for me to get pregnant naturally or that I just have a very low chance of conceiving naturally..it was the most painful part of my life..
I was devastated. I cried and slowly tell the Lord how unfair my life is.. why are we undergoing such problem.. of course despite the pain, I remained strong.. I tried to be strong because if I cant.. I dont think my life would still make sense..
After that, We did IVF again.. failed... again..
Around this time, my faith was getting weaker.. I was not admitting it but truly inside my heart I was a little mad at the Lord...
Before proceeding with our 2nd attempt at IVF or frozen embryo transfer we did some Immune testing.. APAS.. LAT.. things like that.. of course, without a doubt, theres another abnormal results in my tests.. It says that I have elevated killer cells and that my immune system is not taking any embryo and its not allowing it to implant to my uterus or not making any possible pregnancy viable...
I have to say that I was glad that time that I took that tests.... Because through those tests I found an answer.. and through those answers we could find a solution... and the solution in that case means blood transfusion of my husband's blood to my system so my body would be familiarized with his blood.. it was a costly procedure and we didnt just have to do it one time but several times...more on like 7 times if I remember it correctly...
After the treatments, we were ecstatic that my immune results came back normal.. I am good to go for our second IVF!!! I thought that was the only thing that's hindering our chances of getting a positive result..
We transfered 3 frozen embryos.... considering my age I was 27 that time, doctor kept on telling me I need to just transfer 1 or 2 because he tells us that there's a high chance I might end up with triplets...
and guess what? after all those treatments and after putting in 3 perfectly fine blastocysts I end up not getting pregnant - again. -
WHAT A SHAME!
After that one last try... one last time, I told my husband that I've had it..that its enough.. that we should just adopt when the time is right... at first he was not that comfortable yet with adoption but as time passes without us having a child of our own he ends up agreeing with the adoption in 2 or 3 years time.
It was also after that failed IVF that I've gotten more closer to God, we attended sunday services in CCF and always learned something from it so as time passes, my emotional wound is also healing as well.. I realized that the Lord was healing my heart... that my life is not supposed to be lived by my own terms and actions but it should be lived only for the Lord my God who died in the cross to save my sins.. I've learned that I am here on earth because I am a child of God not vice versa and that I should be living for me... trying to make him happy with who he intends me to be... I've learned to praise the Lord through the darkest moments of my life.. I've learned to respect his decisions and choices for my life... that he is the creator of my life not myself or not just any other doctors in this world... so I've learned to surrender the things I cannot control and gave it all to God...
I still pray and ask for him to grant the desires of our hearts which is to have a baby but I dont get sad or depressed if I still get my monthly period anymore.. Ok, I still feel a little sad but it's totally manageable than how I used to feel before...
I was praying for him to give us a child which ever way he likes be it through adoption or the natural way.. of course I was begging to have our biological child but I know I will respect whatever he wants to give us....
I had faith that one day in his time I will have my own child....
My heart was already open to love and nurture an adopted child... I was also anticipating to have our own but I knew that that would take a very very long time if it happens one day...
Little did I know that God was with me all along... he held my heart... took away most of my worries and fears... Just when I was living the way God wants me to live.. He finally... surprisingly.. gave us the desires of our hearts..
God can do all thing possible if you believe! And I'm glad that I believed.. even though I admit that I lost track in the beginning, I still held onto him stronger.. I praised and worshipped him more and here I am.. blessed and pregnant...
Despite what the doctors say that I cannot get pregnant naturally, I did - through God's help.. It is only by Gods grace that I am blessed with a child we would be able to call our own :)
I am 9 weeks pregnant today :)
To God be all the glory and praise!
20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. "
I was 23 when I married the man God provided specially for me - Peng. I thought our future would just be like the norm; Get married, Have Kids and Build a family.
Ever since I was young I knew in my mind that what I wanted to be when I grow up is to be a Mom... I have strong likeness of taking care of children and babies.. I knew in my heart that time "in the future" would come.. I was not like most of the other little girls who dreamed of their wedding day in their most beautiful cinderella gown... instead, I dreamed of building a family of my own.. to love my children and take care of my family until I grow old..
If you were to grade my dream I bet you would say that it is one of the easiest dreams to attain since it is really the nature of the world...nature of a woman- to bear and give birth to a child or children of their own..
But in my case.. It was the other way around.
We've been trying to conceive for 4 years.. Of course at first, we tried on our own or what you would call "the natural way" but after months of still getting my period I had a hunch something is wrong so we both did a test; HSG for me to test if my tubes are open and luckily got a good result because they found out that both my tubes are open and on the other hand, Sperm Analysis for my husband that resulted in low count for him.. after that, We knew that the problem was his sperm so doctor prescribed vitamins to increase the count...
After changing our lifestyle and after a few months of still getting negatives.. my husband did another analysis which came back with better and normal results.. so we questioned ourselves what could be wrong this time?
after months and months of heartache and frustrations and after talking to several doctors they diagnosed us with "unexplained infertility" it states that you cant and wont get pregnant naturally without any reasons in a minimum span of a year..
After knowing that we had unexplained infertility, we still tried to underwent 1 treatment of IUI (intra uterine Insemination) and 1 Mini IVF (in Vitro Fertilization) in the states that resulted with depressing NEGATIVE results.
And we questioned ourselves "why"? I questioned God "why me"?
We lived under that painful title of infertility for as long as I could remember.. It was hard not knowing what the culprit is.. so after our first negative attempt with in vitro I got so depressed and decided to leave my work in the states and stay in the philippines for further treatments since it is much cheaper - and besides, infertility insurance is not covered by our insurance in the companies were working with.
It was the toughest, hardest, most brutal and darkest moments of my life...
We came back to our hometown (the philippines) and did multiple tests... I did Laparoscopy surgery to thoroughly check my uterus and what could be causing the problem... In the end, doctor found out I have endometriosis and that my fimbrias or the ones in the ends of my fallopian tubes are narrowed and distorted - hence it could not catch an egg everytime I ovulate.. so that pretty much summed up why I cant get pregnant naturally.
The doctor told me that despite the situation of my fimbrias, he tried to dilate and make it normal for me during the procedure and that we should first try to do another IUI first before proceeding to another round of IVF to save money if it works (and so we did).. we agreed and did what the doctor suggested even though doctor is not as optimistic as we hoped he is... and of course the result of that? is a negative again...
Several doctors told us its impossible for me to get pregnant naturally or that I just have a very low chance of conceiving naturally..it was the most painful part of my life..
I was devastated. I cried and slowly tell the Lord how unfair my life is.. why are we undergoing such problem.. of course despite the pain, I remained strong.. I tried to be strong because if I cant.. I dont think my life would still make sense..
After that, We did IVF again.. failed... again..
Around this time, my faith was getting weaker.. I was not admitting it but truly inside my heart I was a little mad at the Lord...
Before proceeding with our 2nd attempt at IVF or frozen embryo transfer we did some Immune testing.. APAS.. LAT.. things like that.. of course, without a doubt, theres another abnormal results in my tests.. It says that I have elevated killer cells and that my immune system is not taking any embryo and its not allowing it to implant to my uterus or not making any possible pregnancy viable...
I have to say that I was glad that time that I took that tests.... Because through those tests I found an answer.. and through those answers we could find a solution... and the solution in that case means blood transfusion of my husband's blood to my system so my body would be familiarized with his blood.. it was a costly procedure and we didnt just have to do it one time but several times...more on like 7 times if I remember it correctly...
After the treatments, we were ecstatic that my immune results came back normal.. I am good to go for our second IVF!!! I thought that was the only thing that's hindering our chances of getting a positive result..
We transfered 3 frozen embryos.... considering my age I was 27 that time, doctor kept on telling me I need to just transfer 1 or 2 because he tells us that there's a high chance I might end up with triplets...
and guess what? after all those treatments and after putting in 3 perfectly fine blastocysts I end up not getting pregnant - again. -
WHAT A SHAME!
After that one last try... one last time, I told my husband that I've had it..that its enough.. that we should just adopt when the time is right... at first he was not that comfortable yet with adoption but as time passes without us having a child of our own he ends up agreeing with the adoption in 2 or 3 years time.
It was also after that failed IVF that I've gotten more closer to God, we attended sunday services in CCF and always learned something from it so as time passes, my emotional wound is also healing as well.. I realized that the Lord was healing my heart... that my life is not supposed to be lived by my own terms and actions but it should be lived only for the Lord my God who died in the cross to save my sins.. I've learned that I am here on earth because I am a child of God not vice versa and that I should be living for me... trying to make him happy with who he intends me to be... I've learned to praise the Lord through the darkest moments of my life.. I've learned to respect his decisions and choices for my life... that he is the creator of my life not myself or not just any other doctors in this world... so I've learned to surrender the things I cannot control and gave it all to God...
I still pray and ask for him to grant the desires of our hearts which is to have a baby but I dont get sad or depressed if I still get my monthly period anymore.. Ok, I still feel a little sad but it's totally manageable than how I used to feel before...
I was praying for him to give us a child which ever way he likes be it through adoption or the natural way.. of course I was begging to have our biological child but I know I will respect whatever he wants to give us....
I had faith that one day in his time I will have my own child....
My heart was already open to love and nurture an adopted child... I was also anticipating to have our own but I knew that that would take a very very long time if it happens one day...
Little did I know that God was with me all along... he held my heart... took away most of my worries and fears... Just when I was living the way God wants me to live.. He finally... surprisingly.. gave us the desires of our hearts..
God can do all thing possible if you believe! And I'm glad that I believed.. even though I admit that I lost track in the beginning, I still held onto him stronger.. I praised and worshipped him more and here I am.. blessed and pregnant...
Despite what the doctors say that I cannot get pregnant naturally, I did - through God's help.. It is only by Gods grace that I am blessed with a child we would be able to call our own :)
I am 9 weeks pregnant today :)
To God be all the glory and praise!
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