I used to be angry at God.. Mostly when I'm having a hard time.. When it seems that he isn't listening to my petitions and requests.. When he disappoints me.. Whenever he turns me down.. And yes.. I used to do good things in the hopes of it being replaced by him with the things I've prayed for..
But it's not like that.. Slowly but surely I've learned that I should always give thanks and praise to him even when it is the hardest to do. GOD will always be my God in good and and in the worst times of my life..
He is not a Santa Claus where he would always give what I ask of him. God is my almighty father who gives me the happiest and saddest days of my life in his and for his own purpose only (that I wouldn't always understand) to hone me to the person he wants me to be.
I've realized that it is only through him that I am living on this earth and only for this purpose so I shouldn't and couldn't be angry at him..
I love my God and I am letting go.. Surrendering to him all of my burdens and fears I know he wouldn't ever forsake me.. Even if I am heartbroken now..
If he gives me a child or not.. I would just pray for strength... Strength to surpass the hurt.. His will.. Not mine.. His time.. Not mine.
I still give praise and glory to him as I have a great husband and family who support and love me all the time.
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