It was around 7:30 am when I started feeling hardening of stomach and mild abdominal cramps that lasted seconds and would recur a few minutes after again and again.. at first I didnt mind it at all since I was already feeling the hardening since I entered 3rd trimester so given the fact that I slept at 4:30am that night because of pregnancy insomnia, I was planning to go back to sleep til around 1:00pm because thats what I literaly do almost everyday... I didnt know what an actual contraction feels like so I never ever thought that was happening already...
It was a tuesday morning January 26 of 2016, peng was in the shower getting ready for work and me anticipating every aches and pain as I was already 41 weeks pregnant and overdue I thought to myself maybe this could be it? but then again.. it was so mild I could not even tell it was painful...
When peng entered our room already dressed up and ready to leave, I told him I was feeling this hardening and cramps but not quiet sure if this is "the one" that I should be feeling.. so I asked him to text or call his boss and let him know that he would be late for work that day because we are monitoring the contractions...
at around 8:15am the cramps were getting stronger.. and peng had me download a contraction app so we monitorred the intervals.. it was every 3-5 minutes apart now... peng decided that I take a shower already and he called my doctor to let her know... Unfortunately, the doctor didnt anwswer so he just left a message letting her know about the contractions and the interval.. I was already leaking tinge of blood every now and then and I had it on my panty liner...
Fortunately, The doctor called back and my husband told her about my contractions and she demanded that we go to the hospital and go straight to labor and delivery.
so while in the shower, the contractions were getting stronger I had to pause everytime i feel it... after taking a shower, I made sure I put a decent amount of makeup. yes! makeup hehe just a bb cream and put an eyebrow makeup and also a little contour since you know how much a makeup junkie I am! hehe My husband was laughing at me because I was still trying to get ready with makeup and all and I'm just pausing every time contraction hits....
We waited for my mom to arrive (from her work) to escort as to the hosp together with my grand mother and I asked them to drop by mcdonalds for a drive thru so we could have breakfast.. they were all astound as they think labor is hard but to be honest the contractions werent that painful yet at that point... and they were coming and going...
so as soon as we arrived at the hospital my mom told peng to ask for a wheel chair but I said I dont need it as ive explained it wasnt that painful yet.. but my husband was too overlyprotective so he asked someone for wheelchair assistance..
I was then wheeled to labor and delivery...(honestly, I was scared I would be obliged to go back home because the pain I was feeling wasn't that "movie worthy" yet. Hehe but at the same time It was the most happiest, exciting and scariest time of my life... I recalled looking around every corner..everything I saw made its significant memory for my most happiest day....the hallway.. The nurses.. The hospital doors.. The air.. Everything.. I was trying to record every thing I saw.. Felt.. It was surreal.
we were asked to fill up form before heading to our very own birthing suite! :)
Nurse asked for me to remove my clothes and change to this very appealing hospital gown. hehe
It was around 9 am when I felt the contractions hitting more painful again..
I was so glad I ate an egg mcmuffin and iced coffee because as I was about to get my epidural, the nurse instructed that I cannot eat anything anymore...
The nurse did an internal exam only to find out that I was just 4 cm dilated still
but when my doctor arrived, she told me i could go ahead and get my epidural since she will be dilating me..
I could still remember how panicky and scared I got because the thought of putting ahuge needle on my back scares the hell out of me already.
so when the anesthesiologist came, I was super super scared.. he then asked everyone to leave and let my husband stayed with me.. he instructed on what I should do and there I was, crying non stop.. scared.. and horriffied.. my husband held my hand and saw how I had to undergo such experience..
My contractions came and left and I was getting scared and excited for the final moment that I would be pushing my baby out my body.
I remember when I already had the urge to push the baby out, the doctor is still isn't there so nurses instructed me not to push at all and wait for my doctor..
Meanwhile I had a Playlist in my phone that is connected to our Bluetooth speaker that is playing in the background as I have prepared it for that special day. It was only 3 or 4 songs.. 1. Thousand years (our song for our baby.. During our darkest times (infertility) 2. How great is our God. 3. Somewhere over the rainbow (we used to sing this song to our baby when he was still in my tummy because it sounded as (Samuel-the name we gave to him.. So we sing it as "Samuel over the rainbow and he would kick hehe)
So back to the real thing, my doctor came and I remember the birthing suite suddenly looked like a surgery room as lights were turned on and "medical tools" were prepared.
..... And then I was instructed on how to breath and push.. So I did.. After several tries the doctor said I can see the head! I was already crying due to mixed emotions.. My husband holding my hand and crying with me telling me to push some more and we could already see the baby we've been waiting for years...
I pushed.. Pushed some more.. Doctor even made a cut since the baby's head got stuck for a while and I was super nervous of that.. But after the cut when I pushed there he is.. Coming out of me like the ones you see in the movies.. It was surreal.. I could still cry just thinking about it.. They laid him on my chest.. I'm crying.. My husband's crying.. My mom's crying.. My grandmother's crying.. My little brothers recording the moment.. And there I was rediscovering a new kind of love right in front of me it was magical.. I still remember getting concerned because our little baby's not crying so I asked what's wrong? Why is he not crying? They said that "nothing he's fine".. So when The nurses took him away to take his weight that's when I heard him cry for the first time and me and peng even laughed for a while amazed that he knows that he is not with his mama already that's why he cried...
He was given back to me so I could try to breastfeed and even though the feeling was all new I knew that the obligation.. The love.. It would be for a lifetime..
We named him Samuel Knox.. Samuel because of 1 Samuel 1:27.. It was the story I read in the Bible during one of our failed ivf treatments.. It was about this barren woman who asks God for a child and God gave him one and she named him Samuel.. and I knew in that moment that by my faith God would also eventually bless us with a child (either through miracle or adoption)... And Knox "just because" actually it was peng who liked the name he got it from Brad Pitts son named knox.
I am forever blessed to that I have this story as a part of my life now.. Because this story made me whole.. I've been waiting all my life to feel these.. To have these.. And God has been so gracious for having me experience this kind of joy..
My birth story is totally a life changing event that I would never forget..
Thank you again dear Lord for allowing me to be a mom and to experience this kind of love.. The love that I have for my son.. For Samuel knox.. :)
It was a tuesday morning January 26 of 2016, peng was in the shower getting ready for work and me anticipating every aches and pain as I was already 41 weeks pregnant and overdue I thought to myself maybe this could be it? but then again.. it was so mild I could not even tell it was painful...
When peng entered our room already dressed up and ready to leave, I told him I was feeling this hardening and cramps but not quiet sure if this is "the one" that I should be feeling.. so I asked him to text or call his boss and let him know that he would be late for work that day because we are monitoring the contractions...
at around 8:15am the cramps were getting stronger.. and peng had me download a contraction app so we monitorred the intervals.. it was every 3-5 minutes apart now... peng decided that I take a shower already and he called my doctor to let her know... Unfortunately, the doctor didnt anwswer so he just left a message letting her know about the contractions and the interval.. I was already leaking tinge of blood every now and then and I had it on my panty liner...
Fortunately, The doctor called back and my husband told her about my contractions and she demanded that we go to the hospital and go straight to labor and delivery.
so while in the shower, the contractions were getting stronger I had to pause everytime i feel it... after taking a shower, I made sure I put a decent amount of makeup. yes! makeup hehe just a bb cream and put an eyebrow makeup and also a little contour since you know how much a makeup junkie I am! hehe My husband was laughing at me because I was still trying to get ready with makeup and all and I'm just pausing every time contraction hits....
We waited for my mom to arrive (from her work) to escort as to the hosp together with my grand mother and I asked them to drop by mcdonalds for a drive thru so we could have breakfast.. they were all astound as they think labor is hard but to be honest the contractions werent that painful yet at that point... and they were coming and going...
so as soon as we arrived at the hospital my mom told peng to ask for a wheel chair but I said I dont need it as ive explained it wasnt that painful yet.. but my husband was too overlyprotective so he asked someone for wheelchair assistance..
I was then wheeled to labor and delivery...(honestly, I was scared I would be obliged to go back home because the pain I was feeling wasn't that "movie worthy" yet. Hehe but at the same time It was the most happiest, exciting and scariest time of my life... I recalled looking around every corner..everything I saw made its significant memory for my most happiest day....the hallway.. The nurses.. The hospital doors.. The air.. Everything.. I was trying to record every thing I saw.. Felt.. It was surreal.
we were asked to fill up form before heading to our very own birthing suite! :)
Nurse asked for me to remove my clothes and change to this very appealing hospital gown. hehe
It was around 9 am when I felt the contractions hitting more painful again..
I was so glad I ate an egg mcmuffin and iced coffee because as I was about to get my epidural, the nurse instructed that I cannot eat anything anymore...
The nurse did an internal exam only to find out that I was just 4 cm dilated still
but when my doctor arrived, she told me i could go ahead and get my epidural since she will be dilating me..
I could still remember how panicky and scared I got because the thought of putting ahuge needle on my back scares the hell out of me already.
so when the anesthesiologist came, I was super super scared.. he then asked everyone to leave and let my husband stayed with me.. he instructed on what I should do and there I was, crying non stop.. scared.. and horriffied.. my husband held my hand and saw how I had to undergo such experience..
My contractions came and left and I was getting scared and excited for the final moment that I would be pushing my baby out my body.
I remember when I already had the urge to push the baby out, the doctor is still isn't there so nurses instructed me not to push at all and wait for my doctor..
Meanwhile I had a Playlist in my phone that is connected to our Bluetooth speaker that is playing in the background as I have prepared it for that special day. It was only 3 or 4 songs.. 1. Thousand years (our song for our baby.. During our darkest times (infertility) 2. How great is our God. 3. Somewhere over the rainbow (we used to sing this song to our baby when he was still in my tummy because it sounded as (Samuel-the name we gave to him.. So we sing it as "Samuel over the rainbow and he would kick hehe)
So back to the real thing, my doctor came and I remember the birthing suite suddenly looked like a surgery room as lights were turned on and "medical tools" were prepared.
..... And then I was instructed on how to breath and push.. So I did.. After several tries the doctor said I can see the head! I was already crying due to mixed emotions.. My husband holding my hand and crying with me telling me to push some more and we could already see the baby we've been waiting for years...
I pushed.. Pushed some more.. Doctor even made a cut since the baby's head got stuck for a while and I was super nervous of that.. But after the cut when I pushed there he is.. Coming out of me like the ones you see in the movies.. It was surreal.. I could still cry just thinking about it.. They laid him on my chest.. I'm crying.. My husband's crying.. My mom's crying.. My grandmother's crying.. My little brothers recording the moment.. And there I was rediscovering a new kind of love right in front of me it was magical.. I still remember getting concerned because our little baby's not crying so I asked what's wrong? Why is he not crying? They said that "nothing he's fine".. So when The nurses took him away to take his weight that's when I heard him cry for the first time and me and peng even laughed for a while amazed that he knows that he is not with his mama already that's why he cried...
He was given back to me so I could try to breastfeed and even though the feeling was all new I knew that the obligation.. The love.. It would be for a lifetime..
We named him Samuel Knox.. Samuel because of 1 Samuel 1:27.. It was the story I read in the Bible during one of our failed ivf treatments.. It was about this barren woman who asks God for a child and God gave him one and she named him Samuel.. and I knew in that moment that by my faith God would also eventually bless us with a child (either through miracle or adoption)... And Knox "just because" actually it was peng who liked the name he got it from Brad Pitts son named knox.
I am forever blessed to that I have this story as a part of my life now.. Because this story made me whole.. I've been waiting all my life to feel these.. To have these.. And God has been so gracious for having me experience this kind of joy..
My birth story is totally a life changing event that I would never forget..
Thank you again dear Lord for allowing me to be a mom and to experience this kind of love.. The love that I have for my son.. For Samuel knox.. :)
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